As I reflect on the last month alone, I can’t count the number of times I almost fell off the tightrope. 

You know the one — the tightrope we walk trying to balance work, family, friends, church, volunteerism, self-care, every one of which is important. Walking the tightrope of work and life is a hard one. That’s why you need a big umbrella and a cushy mat to land on.  

Here are a few tips from this soon to be empty nester whose cushy mat has saved her many times:

I am often asked how I’ve balanced my work and family, and the answer is simpler than you’d think: I always ask, “Is it good for the kids?” I have found this simple question has kept me on the right path many times. There were times I postponed commitments until the time was right for my family — like going to graduate school. I chose to wait until my kids were in their teens, and we could do homework around the dining room table together, rather than when they were younger and needed me to be more (literally) hands-on.

Throughout my career there were times I realized I could say no and times I couldn’t. Times work needed me and times my family needed me. By asking this question and looking for the win/win for work and home, I could almost always find a compromise and feel really good about my decision.

I have created my own personal “board of directors” to guide me in my personal and professional growth. And I’ve found my board likes to meet on patios — or at least I do! My “patio time” with friends is often focused on my parenting growth, my spiritual growth and occasionally my professional growth. My patio time with my professional mentors is usually focused on my growth at work or as a leader in the community. And my patio time with my husband focused on catching up, staying connected and keeping centered on the things important to us. And my patio time with my mentees is just as important — listening and assisting in whatever they find helpful.

Whether its flex time, using vacation time (that’s right, Iowans, it IS OK to use vacation time) or modifying my schedule to be there for my kids’ early outs, it was always important to me, and to the people I work with, to have the ability to have time for family commitments when needed. I tell you, this has kept me on the tightrope many, many times. And as I said before, it has been a big win/win. It’s kept me loyal to my workplace, and it’s met the important needs of my family. I would encourage employers to offer flexibility to allow employees to be present — truly present — when their family needs them.

So, friends, I hope you find some wisdom, inspiration or guidance in these words. Finding the balance is definitely worth the walk on the tightrope!