The Elbert Files: Things we’ve never seen before

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With Donald Trump, everything is the best or the worst, the most amazing or an absolute disaster. There is no gray, no shading, no subtleties. For much of the past year, the Republican candidate for president has displayed the emotional maturity of a third-grader.

To use his own hyperbole, the most totally amazing thing to me is that nearly all top-tier Iowa Republican leaders buy into his shtick. A few, including U.S. Sens. Chuck Grassley and Joni Ernst, have tried to simply ignore Trump, while others, including Gov. Terry Branstad and Republican State Chairman Jeff Kauffman, have defended all but Trump’s most egregious positions.

Their usual response is that Hillary Clinton is so much worse. And while she clearly is not worse, her fumbling of a few highly visible issues has allowed Trump’s troops to rationalize what in any other year would be considered unacceptable. 

Say what you will about Clinton, many believe she is the most qualified person ever to run for president. Her credits as a U.S. senator, secretary of state and former first lady are unique.

The only thing missing from her resume is military experience. And while combat commands helped propel the political careers of Presidents Dwight Eisenhower, Ulysses Grant and James Garfield, the opposite has been the case for the past half century. Military experience did little to help genuine war heroes Bob Dole, John Kerry and John McCain, while lack of it did not hurt Vietnam draft dodgers Bill Clinton and George W. Bush.

The fact is we have never had a candidate with Trump’s ability to project his own weaknesses onto his opponents. For example, when he faced legitimate questions about his own legal problems and conflicts of interest, Trump talked loudly about the less troublesome Clinton Foundation. And when his womanizing became an issue, Trump shouted that Bill Clinton was worse.  

Voters are left with an uncomfortable choice.

They can vote for a classic bully who appears not to understand what made America great to begin with or why we continue to be the envy of much of the world, but who appeals to many people’s own feelings of betrayal.

Or they can vote for a candidate whose penchant for secrecy and paranoia places her somewhere between Presidents John Adams and Richard Nixon. 

Adams, you may recall, managed to avoid a war with England that would have destroyed our young nation, while simultaneously creating one of our darkest hours by supporting the Alien and Sedition Acts. Richard Nixon accomplished much on the domestic and international stages before self-destructing in the Watergate scandal. 

With the election upon us, here are a few predictions.

Barring unforeseen events, Clinton should win the presidency. Assuming she also wins in Iowa, which appears likely but is less certain, there is every reason to believe that there will be little change in Iowa’s congressional delegation. 

Iowans are inveterate ballot splitters. It is second nature for us to vote for a Democrat for president and Republicans for Congress, or vice versa. So it’s a good bet that Grassley and U.S. Rep. David Young will be re-elected. 

Finally, kudos to Grassley, whose campaign produced the best television commercial of a very long campaign season. 

Grassley’s ad features conservative economist and TV personality Ben Stein reprising his role as an attendance-taking teacher in the 1986 movie “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” 

As Stein repeatedly calls the name “Judge,” on-screen text shows a list of Democratic candidate Patty Judge’s official absences when she served as Iowa secretary of agriculture and lieutenant governor. 

When Stein calls “Grassley,” Iowa’s senior senator cheerily responds, “Here,” prompting Stein to grumble, “He’s always here.”

And, apparently, he always will be.