The definition of “referral” will surprise you, and at the same time make you understand why you don’t get as many as you expect or ask for.

The definition of “referral” is: risk.

Do you ask for referrals?

Do you get as many as you think you should?

Why do people hesitate when you ask?

Why do people not give them to you, or put you off?

Why do YOU hesitate to ask?

Here are a few questions to ponder if you didn’t get what you asked for:

Did they like you enough?

Did they trust you enough?

What did you do to deserve it?

Did you deliver more than promised?

Did you serve them at the highest level possible?

What did you do that was memorable?

What did they risk by giving a referral to you?

Giving a referral involves a risk. Is your customer willing to take that risk by referring you? Are they willing to risk a friendship or relationship they have by referring someone to you?

Or more powerfully stated, WHEN are they willing – at what point in your relationship with them would they be willing – to risk a friendship or relationship they have with someone else by referring them to you?

What have you done to both earn the trust of AND reduce the risk of your customer?

REALITY: You are NOT going to get great referrals without a high level of comfort, a history of performance and deep level of trust.

What’s the best way to get referrals? Don’t ask for them; earn them!

PICTURE THIS: You walk into your best friend’s house and say, “Mary, could you do me a favor? I’m looking for some new friends, and I was wondering if you knew anybody like yourself that you could refer me to, and, by the way, I’m going to be selling them something. And if you wouldn’t mind doing an introduction for me, I’d really be happy about that.”

Doesn’t that sound ludicrous? Doesn’t it seem imposing? Doesn’t it even border on rude? Some of your friends might even agree to do this for you, but in the end, when it comes time to put up or shut up, the list will be very short.

A referral isn’t something that you ask for. A referral is something you earn. Oh, sure, you can ask, but it makes everyone feel awkward and might ruin a budding relationship.

Which brings me to my point.

When is the best time to ASK for a referral?

After the risk has been eliminated.

Sales managers tell salespeople to ask for referrals as soon as they make a sale. Sales managers are wrong. Real wrong.

After the sale has just been completed is the WORST time to get a referral. You haven’t delivered. There’s no relationship yet. There’s no proof of service yet. Trust is tentative.

Start them thinking by asking, “Mr. Jones, if we deliver and exceed your expectations, who else would you insist get this?” Let him answer. Then ask, “If we are phenomenal, would you be willing to call a few associates and set up a three-way lunch?”

Now the referral outcome is in your court. All you have to do is perform the way you promised. All you have to do is deliver.

Asking for the referral too early is playing the “greed” card.

Asking when you have eliminated risk and built trust is the “money” card.

My measure of success as a salesperson has always been by the number of unsolicited referrals I get. That’s the report card of selling.

How many unsolicited referrals do you get?

Jeffrey Gitomer can be reached by phone at (704) 333-1112 or by e-mail at salesman@gitomer.com. © 2010 Jeffrey H. Gitomer