Jennifer Lock Oman, a clinical social worker and psychotherapist in private practice, spent the first years of her life in Venezuela, where her Iowa-born father – a geologist – and mother – a teacher – worked. Lock Oman spoke only Spanish when her family moved to Des Moines in time for her to start school. Now, she helps people understand a language many are unfamiliar with: the language of emotion. Lock Oman works with clients one on one and reaches a broader audience through her syndicated column “Speak Up,” which appears in The Des Moines Register and in many other papers across the country.

What was it like for you to leave Venezuela as a young girl?

It was really culture shock when we moved here. We moved from the tropics to an Iowa winter, and I didn’t speak the language. I spoke Spanish only, and I was the only kid in kindergarten who colored her bananas green because that’s what ripe bananas look like in Venezuela. It was all a huge adjustment for a 5-year-old child, and it was a hard transition to make.

Was your interest in psychology connected to your exposure to different cultures?

I think that it was, because I was so aware of what it was like to be “different” and the distress and the shame we experience with that. Even though you wouldn’t know it to look at me, I had an experience of having been a fish out of water and having to adjust to that in rather extreme ways.

What career path were you on before you decided to become a psychotherapist?

I was a political science major studying comparative political systems as an undergrad at Northwestern University. When I got out of school, I first worked for a German bank in Chicago and later for a Saudi Arabian exporting company based in Des Moines. What I realized pretty quickly is that females in international business or international banking don’t have a lot of efficacy by virtue of being female, not at that time, anyway. In the United States, women enjoy that more than other cultures, particularly the Saudi culture.

Did that prompt you to do something different by furthering your education?

That’s when I decided to go back and get my master’s. I decided that I really wanted to work with smaller systems than those I was involved with. Actually, there are a lot of similarities between macrosystems like governments and microsystems like human beings and their relationships. There’s a lot that translates in terms of how systems work, and I think that was the appeal.

Did you feel like your life experiences would give you special insight as a psychotherapist?

A lot of things played into my decision. The thing about psychotherapy that is interesting is that it appeals to me on an emotional and an intellectual level. Writing has always appealed to me, and that’s a way for me to blend those two things in another medium.

How did you become a columnist?

I approached the (Des Moines) Register, and it took a couple of years. My editor took the risk to do something new, and about nine years ago, it took off. They suggested that I submit it to Gannett (Co. Inc., the Register’s parent company) to be sent around the United States, so now it appears in papers across the country, and through my Web site, people from all over the world are reading it.

How many letters or e-mails might you get in a week?

It depends. I get probably 15 to 30 each week.

Do you respond to the ones you don’t use?

I do, out of courtesy and respect for people’s feelings and dilemmas, even if they’re not appropriate for the column.

How does your approach in writing compare with how you would approach one-on-one sessions?

The writing that I do in the column is really a microcosm of what I do in therapy. What I look for, with the e-mails that I get, as well as working with someone in a session, is what’s the underlying emotion that’s fueling the reactions, triggering the memories or coloring the perceptions. My goal in the column is not to answer the questions in completion, but to get people aware of and familiar with the language of emotions because most of us grew up without any kind of language for what we’re feeling.

Is it difficult to make that assessment of people’s situations through a brief e-mail or letter that you get?

It can be, but I go with what I have, and I go with what I assume or interpret from what they’re presenting to be the driving emotion. The traditional view of behavior is stimulus-response – the bell rings; the dog salivates. What I do, and what comes out of Silvan S. Tomkin’s work and (Donald) Nathanson’s, is a stimulus-affect-response model. When there’s a stimulus, there’s an intervening emotion or affect. If you can manage the affect, then you have a shot at changing the behavior.

Have you considered writing a book of your own?

Yes, I’ve started it. It will elaborate my take on the language of emotions, just to put a framework around what I write in the column.

What do you do when you’re not writing or seeing clients?

For me, tennis is my release, and I play weekly. I do acupuncture, massage, reflexology and all kinds of things to manage my body, because that’s where our emotions reside. I think therapists need to have physical stamina to make it through difficult therapy sessions, because emotions and feelings are so contagious. For example, sometimes you’ll see two babies, and if one’s crying, the other one looks at it and starts crying, too. Emotions can have that effect as adults, too, and I’m not immune to it.