It’s the golden age of sitting and watching

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Now that I’ve seen my last basketball game in Veterans Memorial Auditorium, this seems like the right moment to thank the U.S. economy. Over the past five decades, it has produced a steady supply of new sports venues for me to enjoy, with really no effort on my part.

When I drop by the Wells Fargo Arena, I’ll be thinking – and, unfortunately for any poor saps sitting near me, remarking out loud – that my introduction to organized winter sports was on a basketball court that would barely provide enough space for a 21st-century concession stand.

In junior high school, we played basketball on a smooth concrete floor so short that the free-throw circles intersected the center circle. If today’s rules had been in effect, every defensive rebound would have been an excellent opportunity to launch a three-point shot at the other basket.

The high school court in State Center was like a dream by comparison, and we assumed it was pretty much the same size as the college and pro courts we saw on TV. But when the sectional schedule sent us to the vast reaches of the Marshalltown Roundhouse, it was like being plopped onto the deck of an aircraft carrier. Fast break? Sure, Coach, as soon as the referees start allowing motorcycles.

So, to celebrate my junior year, the West Marshall Community School District cracked open a new high school, complete with a bigger, better basketball court. (It didn’t do a thing for my coordination, but it was still a nice gesture.)

Over in Ames, the Iowa State University Cyclones were still playing in the Armory, an industrial-looking structure perfectly designed to stifle any outbursts of excitement. Then I enrolled, and they immediately started building Hilton Coliseum.

I moved to Chicago and watched the Bulls play at Chicago Stadium during an era when it was easy to saunter up to the ticket window at game time and get a good seat. Michael Jordan screwed up that arrangement, but he did bring about the United Center.

Now I get to use Wells Fargo Arena. One problem:

There’s no way this wonderful new structure can match the excitement of those first visits to Vets. The first time my parents took me there for a sporting event, it was stunning to see such big-time athletes perform in such a magnificent structure. Yeah, that was something, that Roller Derby.

Later, when I went with high school buddies to see the immortal Big Moose Cholak and other professional wrestling legends – well, it was still a fairly big deal.

Over the ensuing years, I walked into Vets to see high school sports, motocross racing, home and garden shows, farm equipment displays, motivational speakers with tapes to sell, an Ultimate Fighting event, Arena football starring Kurt Warner and the updated version of pro wrestling, with pounding music and strobe lights instead of a fat guy wearing a moose head.

The thrill of walking in did tend to fade. But maybe one more new venue is just what I need.