Guest Opinion: Filling the space before the empty nest
“Every new chapter in your life will require a new version of yourself” – Unknown
I’m experiencing a new transition time in my life. I’m between the constant physical needs of raising babies and toddlers and the mentally tough work of parenting tweens and teens. I feel like I’ve woken up from a “mom fog” brought on by having three babies in four years and the time-intensive demands of raising them through their young childhood years (like changing diapers and making sure they don’t eat small objects). I was in the survival mode of parenting for so long and now I’m finding myself with time for other things, like … me. Like many of my fellow mothers, I’m struggling with that transition and with how to shape the next chapter of my life.
There are a lot of resources available to guide women through the “empty nest” phase, but I haven’t found anything to assist with what I’m calling this “active nest” phase. Therefore, I want to share how I’m making this transition.
1. Reflecting. I’m taking stock of all aspects of my life: physical, emotional, spiritual, social, financial and career-related. I’m a different person than I was before I started the journey of motherhood. What do I like about where I am? What don’t I like? What gives me happiness? What would I get rid of if I could? I started visualizing what I wanted each of those dimensions in my life to look like right now, right where I am in my life today.
2. Resolving. Using those visualizations, I’m setting a small number of specific goals in each of those areas. I’m keeping these small and specific so they are manageable and achievable (because let’s face it, while I have more time for myself, that active nest keeps me crazy busy) and I’m tracking my progress.
3. Reconnecting. I’m reaching out to old friends and colleagues I’ve been too busy to see and asking to get together. I’ve had dinner with old girlfriends I haven’t seen in three years. I’ve made a concerted effort to identify other professionals I should network with and ask for a coffee date or meeting.
These small steps are leading me to reinventing myself at this life stage, toward creating a different version of myself that can embrace this new chapter in my life.
Aimee Staudt is a vice president and the director of development at Knapp Properties Inc., where she oversees all real estate development and construction activities. She was named in 2013 to the Des Moines Business Record Forty under 40 and is actively involved in the real estate industry and community. She is also the mother to three very busy children, ages 6-10.
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