Guest Opinion: Simply showing up speaks volumes
BY JESSICA DUNKER | President, Iowa Restaurant Association
Last month a friend of mine invited me to an event she hosted to promote her business. I am not actually one of her customers, but she included me in this by-invitation “customer appreciation” event because she knows my heart is with her as she works to grow her business.
I was glad I attended because it was a lovely evening. I was also glad I attended because I was one of the few people who, after they said they would come, actually followed through and made the time to show up.
It’s unfortunate because she arranged for food, drinks and door prizes and prepared a small “thank you” presentation — all well planned and well done. Sadly, many of those for whom the evening was planned weren’t present. Even sadder, many of those who said they were attending still weren’t present.
Want to be supportive of women in business but aren’t sure how? Consider taking the time to show up at their business events, particularly if you say you will. There is nothing that derails a woman’s confidence faster than taking her back to her childhood insecurities of wondering if the girls she invited to her birthday party will come.
I will admit that I am convicting myself as I write this. I have on more than one occasion skipped the (fill in the blank) meeting, cocktail, social, breakfast, educational seminar, home party, etc. — all created, planned and intended for people like me, often by women’s groups, organizations and business owners.
Almost all of these things are events I would likely have loved had I been there.
What made my opting out OK? Busyness? Urgent last-minute work issue? Sick or needy child? Forgetting to put something down on my calendar? Likely at one point or another all of the above — but some of those times, it was nothing at all.
Like many women, I often overcommit myself. I say “yes” to attending when I really should just say “no.”
But that’s on me, not the person or people who took the time to prepare for the arrival of me, which I opted to make optional. And all my good intentions about coming, when not followed through upon, still create hurt feelings or disappointment for the planner I’ve let down.
So here’s my pledge, and I encourage other women to do the same: Say “no” more, but let your “yes” be “yes.” And when you’re choosing those “yes” events, give a little extra consideration to the events your sisters in business (and life) are planning.
Your presence speaks volumes.
Jessica Dunker is the president and CEO of the Iowa Restaurant Association. She has a special interest in seeing more women entrepreneurs open restaurants across Iowa, particularly in Main Street communities, where she is convinced “culinary tourism” can help draw people into small towns across the state. She and her husband, Tyler, have three daughters.
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