Guest Opinion: Strong women lift each other up
I was blown away when I read the July 25 Lift IOWA article in response to a recent survey asking women if they have witnessed “queen bee” behavior, or women who refused to help other women in their careers. The respondents’ comments really shocked me, and the article stuck with me.In response to this, I would like to focus on why strong women should lift each other up. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve seen this “queen bee” behavior in the past, but honestly not recently. Perhaps it is the industry I work in and the people that I associate with, and I consider myself fortunate.
Instead, here’s what I see (and what our focus shouldbe): collaboration, asking questions, recognizing that society and technology are changing, diversity and inclusion, mentoring, and people speaking up.
There was another article written about the same time as the Sheryl Sandberg article(which started the conversation) by Marianne Cooper in The Atlantic. Cooper states there are two dominant cultural ideas about the role women play in helping other women advance at work: the Righteous Woman and the Queen Bee.
The “Righteous Woman” is an ideal, a belief that women have a distinct moral obligation to have one another’s backs. The “Queen Bee” belief argues that in reality women just can’t get along. It is unfortunate to know that even in this day and age, too many women haven’t learned how to be effective supporters of one another.
I would like to challenge those queen bees out there to think a bit more righteously. What’s to lose? Why not have another woman’s back? Long gone is the idea that the way to the top is by stepping on others. The new way to true leadership is by acting selflessly and lifting others up along the way. It would be hard to imagine that somewhere along a queen bee’s rise to the top, another woman didn’t play a role in her success.
Did you know that we are actually wired to be kind to one another? There is actual science behind it. According to BeWell@Stanford University, our first instinct and spontaneous impulse is to help, to act fairly and kindly, and we need each other’s support to survive as a species. We’ve heard this before, but helping is contagious.
So for those of you reading this who might be labeled as a queen bee, consider this: Helping one woman will help other women, and therefore lift us all. Helping another woman will bring out the best in you, and it is the greatest gift you can give (and receive). If you start now, think of the transformation that will begin, and what the future may hold. You may be just one person, but research shows that you can have a phenomenal impact. Let’s fight to believe in the righteous woman for which our daughters one day will thank us.
I’ll have your back.
Will you have mine?
Brianne Fitzgerald is the communications and engagement officer with Volunteer Iowa (also known as the Iowa Commission on Volunteer Service), that works to improve lives, strengthen communities and foster civic engagement through service and volunteering. She was recently honored as the winner of the YPC Amy Jennings Impact Award in 2015, along with her recognition as a Business Record Forty Under 40 in 2016. Fitzgerald is an active board member on the Simpson College Alumni Board, the Greater Des Moines Leadership Institute, and is the Co-Chair of the Youth Leadership Initiative. She is a mother of three and enjoys her new found love of becoming a dance mom.
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