Maybe all problems should be crated up and shipped to Ames. We zipped from 55 million registered Republicans down to three possible presidential nominees in much less time than it takes to determine the American League wild cards, for example.

Fortunately for the world of commerce, the remaining contestants look to be business-friendly.

Mitt Romney, for example, understands that corporations are people, and that when money goes into a pocket, it really doesn’t matter who’s wearing the pants. I don’t think capitalism’s winners would have to worry about a change in the 343-to-1 ratio of CEO pay to employee pay with Mitt in charge.

Also, Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry would be good for business, because they would be good for everything. When you have the CEO of the universe on your side, it’s hard to get a decision wrong. In the worst-case scenario, you just flip an “In God We Trust” coin.

If either of these two gains the White House, business leaders should avoid being photographed at social events hosted by anyone named Mammon. Other than that, happy days will be here again.

Ron Paul, who sees everything differently, might see it differently, but these three appear to be the only Republicans whom we’re supposed to take seriously. How did we reach this point?

First you cut out about 30 million people who don’t want to run for president because it would interfere with their hobbies. Another 20 million or so are unable to smile for extended periods of time.

Almost 5 million Republicans would love to be in charge and smile easily, but have a strong aversion to the media. They dislike “gotcha” questions and aren’t too fond of being asked the same things over and over.

It’s like a baseball player who has to face the press after every game, except that politicians can’t just strip naked and storm off to the shower room. Well, they can, but probably only once.

So we have our final list, according to the hated media, although a few others still might bob to the surface. New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, for example, is willing to enter the race, but only if he can be guaranteed on-time cheeseburger delivery during the inauguration ceremony.

Or Sarah Palin, who wouldn’t mind being president but is running out of ways to remain beloved. She did the TV show, and there was a movie; she’s toying with the idea of becoming a Navy SEAL.

But for now, let’s focus on the likely business prospects under the Big Three.

Romney is calling for more job creation, which is good. Unfortunately, during his four years as governor of Massachusetts, the state ranked 47th in job creation. The irresponsible media will probably bring that up at some point.

Perry can boast of creating more than a quarter of a million jobs as the governor of Texas, and almost a dozen of them pay more than the minimum wage. Only the despicable media would care that he received a “D” in the principles of economics as a student at Texas A&M University.

(In the interest of fairness, we should point out that former Vice President Al Gore got a “D” in natural sciences at Harvard University. When all of the video game design jobs are filled, maybe some smarter people can be dragged, kicking and screaming, into politics.)

However, the top tier of business people, the ones who have Wi-Fi access on their polo ponies, might prefer Bachmann, because she wants to repeal taxes on capital gains. We can assume that millionaires would be inclined to take that windfall, rush out and hire more employees.

Sure, they might also find other things to do with it. But just like any corporation, the real estate brokers of St. Barts are people, too.

Jim Pollock is the managing editor of the Des Moines Business Record. He can be reached by email at jimpollock@bpcdm.com