The conventional wisdom is that if you can’t find a job in these difficult times, you should just start a business. Sounds simple enough. Although now that I think about it, I’m not sure where you find one of those official “Open” signs for the front door.

So which business ideas look good these days? You could stick with the tried-and-true – you might start a lawn-care service, for example, or manufacture something that’s always in demand, such as rocket-propelled grenades – but a sharp business expert always scouts for trends.

Bill Gates and the late Steve Jobs didn’t become wealthy by making widgets, you know. After the class-action lawsuit linking widget usage with prolonged squinting, they pretty much abandoned the whole idea. Instead, they succeeded by figuring out innovative ways to help people kill time and to allow corporations to do more work with fewer employees, sparking massive layoffs. There’s your inspiration.

Just to jog your creative thinking, here’s a significant trend: According to a recent report, our gloomy era has 11 percent of all adult Americans regularly using antidepressants, and among women between the ages of 40 and 59, the figure rises to 23 percent. We begged women to take up bowling and fishing, but no, they always know better.

So maybe you could get into antidepressant sales and distribution. Where will you find your customers? I would say anyone eating a brownie while wearing sweat pants in public should immediately go on your mailing list. Make the first sample free, then gradually ratchet up the price. Set up secret locations where they can go to “score” a “hit.” Before long, you won’t just be selling a commodity; you’ll be “pushing” an exciting lifestyle. If you “catch” my “drift.”

Or how about opening a coffeehouse? The throngs of unemployed folks will form a solid customer base. For them, it’s either drink coffee or throw pebbles at the windows of their former workplaces, trying to get someone to come out and chat.

So if you think you would enjoy interacting with random people all day long – well, you must be pretty desperate. But if that’s what you want, consider opening a place where anyone can buy a cup of coffee and then spend the next eight hours using your Wi-Fi connection and your restrooms, often at the same time. There’s not a huge profit potential per customer, so plan on adequate floor space to create volume. Something on the scale of Hy-Vee Hall might do for starters.

Another concept: As the economy continues to sputter, and city governments continue to panic, why not help business owners improve their circumstances? On one side, you’ll find CEOs who have their pick of locations, from empty office buildings to vacant strip malls to foreclosed McMansions. On the other, city officials and a dartboard with only two sections: “tax credit” and “forgivable loan.” You could head up the negotiations.

It’s not that difficult for a company to persuade a city to fork over tens of thousands of dollars just by threatening to leave, and a slice of that action should provide a nice income for you.

Will it be fun, too? It does combine the best parts of accounting and blackmail. If you can’t enjoy that, you might not belong in the business world.

In summary, remember that small business is the job-producing backbone of the American economy. Creaky behemoths like GE, Exxon Mobil and the U.S. Air Force are hardly important at all.

So don’t sit around envying people with high-paying positions and cushy benefits, because they would gladly give up their pension-encrusted futures and free parking spots to be in your shoes.

Door-to-door shoe sales. There’s another business idea.

Jim Pollock is the managing editor of the Des Moines Business Record. He can be reached by email at jimpollock@bpcdm.com